Bishop Wehrle....

I am months and months behind on my blog. It may be a lost cause, no... I will catch up. It is a long slow process though! The girls will be back in school in less than a week and I plan to get caught up then! I am jumping ahead in my posts because I have a terrible memory and this is something I want to always remember. I am already forgetting dates and specifics so I want to get my feelings down before I forget those too. This blog has become my journal so this is the most appropriate place for me to get things out!

For the last couple of years there have been rumors that the stake was going to come in and split our South Valley Ranch Ward. A couple of months ago the rumors were started up again. I didn't think much of them since there had been rumors before. I was called in to the primary presidency in May. I loved my calling! I worked with some really fun girls and the kids were so much fun! My favorite part but most frustrating part about my calling was nursery! We have a huge nursery and it was a little crazy with all those kids!

Anyway about six weeks ago or so my phone rang one night and it was Pres. Jones (our stake President). I have never really talked to him before and neither had Lance so it was kind of strange having him call my house. He talked to me for a few minutes about Lance and my kids and then asked to speak to Lance. Lance talked to him for a few minutes and came out and told me we needed to head to the stake center and meet with Pres. Jones in 10 minutes! What?? My kids were already in bed so I called my good friend Amber over to sit with the girls while we were gone! She was so great to drop everything and come over! When we got to the stake center the stake presidency welcomed us into pres. Jones' office, yes all three of them were there! (pres. Jones, Pres. Westover and Pres. Snow) It was a bit intimidating! I quickly calmed down when I learned how down to earth they all were. They reassured us that we were not there to get a calling, they simply wanted to meet us. They told us they were not splitting the ward but they wanted to get to know a few members of the SVR ward. So, that is all we did. we sat and talked for about 45 minutes about what we did, how our kids were but mainly about Lance's residency and his hours. Pres. Jones is a retired surgeon so the two of them had a lot to talk about. We left that night feeling like that was the weirdest meeting we had ever had and despite what they said I knew the ward was going to be split soon after.

Lance informed me that Pres. Westover had been in is Gospel Doctrine class the week before and had come up and introduced himself. Weird but I guess not to unusual.

I forgot all about the meeting with the Stake over the next couple of weeks. Lance got really busy at work and was working really long hours. I had been going to church for at least 4 weeks in a row without him as he had been having to work Sundays as well. I was feeling very frustrated and I was having a really hard time adjusting to him being gone all the time. I was also going through a bit of post partum depression and that was certainly adding to the stress level in our home. My kids could see that I was stressed and were acting out more than usual. I am sure they were just reacting to Lance being gone and me being so emotional all the time. There were several other things going on in our home at that time to add to the stress, including being worried about our finances as we were trying to adjust to having a paycheck again.

All of these things were happening a couple of weeks ago when I received another phone call from the stake. I had just walked in the door from yet another week alone at church with out Lance. The girls were hard during sacrament and I was feeling overwhelmed and very stressed out. I told them that Lance wasn't home but he was off work that night about 6:00 so he would be home about 6:30. At 6:35 my phone rang and I told Lance it was the stake calling again. They asked us to come back to the stake center on Tuesday night. I immediately started crying. I think all my emotions just hit me and I wasn't ready to go back. Lance convinced me that it was just going to be building coordinator or at the very most Elders Quorum something or other. He also said he could always say no (ya right, he would never) I calmed down and said he was right since pres. Jones knew Lance was very busy and in residency and he knew how many hours he was gone. I felt better. But that feeling only lasted until Tuesday morning. I called my friend Kathryn (who happens to be one of my really good friends and is married to the bishop!) I asked if she wanted to go to the park and let the girls play for a bit. She met me there and I asked her if there was any reason why I should be scared that I was having to go back into the stake for the second time in a couple of weeks. She mostly just laughed at me and told me I needed to be prepared for whatever they were going to ask. She then told me the stake had been in scouting out several men from our ward but lance was definitely one of them. I told Kathryn I would call her first thing in the morning unless it was something big (that way she would know without me having to break my promise not to tell). I left the park feeling more nervous than before. When Lance got home from work I told him I was feeling very nervous about our meeting and he said it was all going to be fine and he would just say no (I don't know why he kept saying that because we both know he would never) He wasn't nervous at all so I started to calm down again. We dropped the girls off at my other friend Amber's house and I told her we would be back in like 20 minutes.

When we got to the stake they asked us to sit on the couch and they would be ready for us shortly. Pres. Snow came and sat with us on the couch and asked if we were nervous. I said I was terrified but Lance was as calm as could be. He said people said no to callings all the time and we wouldn't be the first! great. Pres. Jones door opened and a couple i didn't know walked out with him. I immediately calmed down. I though oh good, those people are from the new ward and they are just here getting a calling too. Everything will be okay!! That feeling of calm lasted exactly one second. Pres. Jones asked Lance to some into his office and I was asked to go with Pres. Westover and Pres. Snow into the high council room. Panic set in at that point and I don't think that feeling ever left! Pres. Westover started asking me a bunch of questions: Does your husband love you? Does he treat you well? Does he abuse you in any way? Does he love your children? Does he abuse them in any way? Is there anything we don't know about your husband? Is there anything he does that the Lord would be unhappy about that we should know about? WHAT???? I still had no idea what was going on but at this point I was thinking some one told them Lance was abusive or something and this was all just a big misunderstanding!! We finished before Lance did with Pres. Jones so we just sat and talked about nothing, books, my kids, what I like to do etc etc. FINALLY pres. Jones opened the door and asked us to join him in his office, yes all of us again. I sat down next to Lance while the presidency briefly talked at the door (I am sure Pres. Jones was making sure I answered all the questions correctly) Lance leaned over and said, " They just asked me if I have ever been divorced." Um so. I don't know what that means. But Lance was looking nervous so I started to get even more nervous! Pres. Jones sat down as did Snow and Westover. Pres. Jones said he had a letter he needed to read us. He then read: " Pres. Jones, we accept your request to make Lance Ronald Wehrle the BISHOP of the new Aspen Peak ward..........." numb. I went numb. And I think I started crying, a lot. I honestly didn't hear the rest of the letter. I was seriously panicking and I was a little sick to my stomach. I was not prepared to hear those words. I never in a million years thought that is what we were going in for. Pres. Jones continued to talk for quite a while until he finally asked me what I was thinking. I couldn't even form a sentence. I am sure they thought I was a complete idiot. I just said, " I don't know" like five times and then started crying some more. They asked Lance is he was willing to accept this call and he said yes and then they asked if I would sustain him and I said yes. I honestly didn't hear another work Pres. Jones said to Lance. They talked about new ward boundaries and ward lists and when he needed to call counselors by and on and on. I really felt sick and totally numb. I really wanted someone to pinch me, or better yet punch me to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

I am not sure me and Lance talked much on the way home. I think I cried a lot. I was feeling completely over whelmed. We picked up the kids at Amber's house again and I was trying so hard to pull it together but I started crying again before I left the house. Amber was such an amazing friend and instead of drilling me with questions she let me go and said she would call later. I will forever love her for that. I am not sure I was ready to answer her questions yet.

Lance and I were told we could tell our families so they could make travel arrangements. Lance called my dad first so he could ask him if he would ordain him as a high priest. I talked to my mom and cried a lot. Lance talked to his parents and they as well cried and cried. They all had the same reaction: We are so very proud of you but we are worried how you will find the time to balance work, calling and most importantly family. Lance and I didn't sleep much that night. In fact I don't think I slept at all. Lance had to be up at 3:00 to be to work in the morning so I know he tried (and probably failed as well). I don't think I even got dressed the next day. I didn't answer the phone when it rang. I wasn't ready to face anyone yet. I have never been a good liar and I am an even worse secret keeper. I was dreading having to keep this to myself for the next 2 weeks. I knew my friends were going to know something was going on. I called my sisters that day and told them. They were both very shocked and supportive for the most part. It felt good to talk to someone. I decided that day I was going to send the big girls to Utah with my mom. I was planning on going myself but decided I needed to be with Lance. Somehow I made it through the next couple of days. I was very very emotional and I did a lot of crying. I am sure my girls thought I was crazy.

The first couple of days I felt very calm. I did a lot of praying and asking the Lord to help me feel peace and accept what was happening. And he did just that. Lance on the other hand was a nervous wreck. He came home on Thursday and said he wanted to self medicate at work. He was definitely panicking. He had a meeting with Pres. Jones that night and said he was going to tell him he couldn't do it. They had the wrong man. He couldn't be a bishop. Lance was supposed to be at his meeting at 8:15 that night. He didn't get off work until 8:00. When he rushed in to grab some things for the meeting he was very emotional. He kissed the girls goodnight and ran out the door. I thought for sure he would come home and tell me he wasn't bishop anymore. I felt so bad for Lance. He was under so much stress and he was so tired. When he came home from his meeting that night he was a whole new Lance. He was happy, confident and feeling at peace with everything. I don't know what Pres. Jones said to him but it was exactly what he needed to hear. It is good because I was headed down hill quick and I needed Lance to be the strong one.

I woke up early the next morning and took my kids to Beaver to meet my amazing mom. I can't thank her enough for taking care of my kids for that next week! I really needed that space to work through my feelings.

Lance and I went to the temple on Saturday. We ended up at the Samoan session but that is a whole other story! Kathryn and Jonathan watched Madden for us. I felt really good about everything while we were there and that night. When we picked Madden up Jonathan gave Lance a blessing and we were able to talk to Jonathan and Kathryn about everything. It felt so good to talk to someone who knew what we were feeling and going through. I think it was good for Lance too to be able to get some advice from Jonathan.

That Sunday was one of my hardest days. I knew it was going to be. They announced that there was going to be a meeting with the stake the following Sunday and that there were going to be changes made to the ward. Immediately people began to speculate. I was in complete panic mode. I was so nervous and I was telling half truths to everyone. I wanted to get out of there. I barely made it through church that day. I went home and called Lance and told him how horrible it was and how lucky he was that he was at work and no one knew anything was going on.

The next day I hit a new low. I woke up and for some reason I was very frustrated and almost angry with everything that was happening. I felt like some of my choices were being taken away. For example, I really only wanted to be in this house for one more year but that didn't seem like it was a possibility any more. I was frustrated I never saw my husband and I would be seeing him even less. I questioned how this could be the best thing for my family when my kids were not even going to be able to see their dad. I got more and more angry as the day went on. I was even angry with Lance when he got home because he wasn't angry (I know I was being irrational). The next day I felt a little better after talking to my mom and Hailey. I knew I was being irrational but I couldn't help it, I am honestly not that strong. I was however looking forward to that evening though because Lance's counselors were being called, as well as his clerk. Lance was calling Ethan to be his clerk so I was so happy to finally have Amber know why I had been so distant and stressed the last week or so. But before that we went to enrichment night where I lied to a dozen or so more people. Hmmm, I was getting pretty good at it. I watched Kenna while Amber and Ethan met with the stake. When they came home they didn't say anything!! I was so mad!! I went home and told Lance that Amber still didn't know!! How could they not tell them! I was going to have to keep lying to her!! The next morning Amber called me really early. All she said was,"I talked to Ethan last night after you left...." I started bawling! I was so happy she knew! The rest of my week went a lot smoother! She made me feel a million times better! I was still feeling kind of angry at this point and talking to her helped calm me down a lot! I took Madden swimming that day and then I was able to go to the temple with my friend Briana. She had just recently been through for the first time and I thought it would be fun to go with her. I lied my whole way to the temple. awesome. That night I asked Lance for a blessing. I didn't want to feel frustrated any more. I wanted to feel peace again like I had the week before.

Thursday was a great day. I can honestly say I felt a million times better after my blessing and my day at the temple. It also helped that I know I only had to get through one more day and my family would be here and I wouldn't have to avoid my friends anymore. Amber, Jackie and I went to dinner that night and things were great! i didn't feel stressed and better yet I didn't have to avoid anything with Jackie, it never came up, which I was very grateful for.

Friday and Saturday were great! My parents and Lances family were all here. It was so nice to have a break from all the stress. I didn't have to lie around them. They knew everything! I was so happy to finally see my girls again! I forgot to mention that I told the girls Lance was going to be the bishop before they left. I made sure they knew it was a secret. Elliott was so excited because she gets to wave at him while he is on the stand and Rya doesn't really get it. Saturday night I was getting really nervous again. We were making plans for who was going to save seats and so on and I just got really nervous thinking about it again.

Sunday morning was a crazy morning. They always are. I was up at 5:30 getting ready and we were still almost late somehow. I was nervous all morning to the point of being sick. Luckily my in laws and parents went early to get some seats, the church was packed!! We didn't get there until 5 to because I knew the minute we walked in people would see Lance with his face shaved and his family all there and they would know something was going on. I have to add that I was very very sad to see Lance's facial hair go... that is one thing I still do not support haha. anyway, apparently Pres. Westover called Lance on the way to make sure he hadn't changed his mind. I was shaking the whole time before they actually made the call. Finally it was time for Pres. Jones to stand up and call Lane to be the new bishop. The minute he read his name I started to cry. I couldn't help it. I was just so happy it was out and I was so proud of Lance. Lance had to go up to the stand with his counselors. He had to say a few words, he cried for the majority of the time, it was so cute, I loved it! Afterward we hugged a million shocked people and met a million new people too. It was so nice to feel the support of so many people. Lance was then ordained a high priest by my dad. He gave him a wonderful blessing and I am so grateful to him for doing it. Next Pres. Jones set him apart and ordained him as Bishop of the Aspen Peak ward. It was such a cool meeting and I felt better that day than I had in two weeks. I still have my moments but I am feeling so much peace about everything now.

I know I have been writing forever now and i don't expect anyone to read this, I just wanted to get everything out so I wouldn't forget. I just wanted to add how much my testimony has grown in the last two weeks. I know that this church is true without a doubt in my mind. If I didn't I wouldn't have agreed to any of this. I know if you think about it logically there is just no way this is going to work, but if you have faith anything is possible! I know my Heavenly Father loves me. I know he is looking out for my family and he is mindful of the challenges we are facing right now. I know he will continue to bless us if we stay faithful. I love my Savior. I have a testimony of the Atonement. I am grateful our sins can be washed away if we repent. I am even more grateful that my savior knows my pain. He knows what it feels like to feel completely overwhelmed. He knows how it feels to be stressed and confused. He knows what it is like to go through challenges. I am so grateful to him and I am grateful to know I am not alone. I am so incredibly proud of Lance. He is such an amazing man and the perfect man for me. He loves me and he loves our kids. I am so proud of him for being willing and worthy to serve the Lord even during this stressful time of life. I am forever grateful for my children. I love them so much and they bring me so much joy. I am so thankful my Heavenly Father trusted me enough to be their mother. I am grateful for my wonderful family. They are always there to support me and Lance. They have been down here so many times this year for the many things we have had going on! I am grateful for my friends, they are really more like family to me. I could not have made it through these last couple of weeks without them. Also, I am so amazed at the power of prayer and the preistood. Lance was handed a list of people that he didn't know. He was asked to pick counselers from it and from the old SVR ward. After much prayer and fasting he picked two amazing men from the black mountain ward. He didn't know them , had never heard their names before or seen them but somehow they were the right men. The power of prayer is so amazing.

I still feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster but things are much better now. lance has been Bishop for two whole days haha. I am sure there will be many challenges ahead but I know that if Lance and I stay close to the Lord and to each other we can over come anything!

* Before I forget (although I don't think I ever will!!) I must have been even more nervous about Lance being called on Sunday than I realized. After everything was done on Suday I came home to change out of my dress and realized I forgot to wear a bra to church. Yep... no bra and lots of hugs. Awesome!! Lance died laughing!